author · writer

Write the good vibes while you can


(Screencap of my future book events. Check them out at my website

I’m not even sure if that title makes sense, but I’m all hopped up on coffee and it sounded good in my head. There’s so much excitement lately!

Next weekend, for any of you who don’t know, I will be attending my first NJ Ren Faire at the author tent! Whoa! Not only does this seem like such a fun weekend, but I get to dress and act as one of my characters. (I’m a nerd, deal with it) I’m supposed to stay in character all day and I’m not too sure how that will go. It’s very easy for me to be a character in my mind, I could have a whole conversation with one if I wanted to at any moment, but to actually act it out…keep your fingers crossed. I decided the best character to go as would be Keeley. Her outfit isn’t too complicated and it matches the most with the Renaissance theme. Finley and Kaden tend to wear modern clothes so that made no sense. Keeley’s the perfect in between. What’s even more exciting is that yesterday I wrote a great fucking scene with her and Kaden. It’s heartbreaking.

That brings me to my next point of interest, going over edit after edit. Things get very sticky. I write my draft and love it. I begin to edit and hate it. I reread and love it. And the cycle continues as this love/hate relationship. Last week was a hate week, this week is a love week. What has been throwing me off with this last book is that I need to keep it simple. I’m going back at rereading and noticed there is a much simpler way to say half the shit I wrote. I even cut out three or four scenes yesterday alone because even though I loved them, they weren’t necessary for the plot or book. Maybe I’ll post all my cut scenes one day.

As I said, last week was a bad week. Normally I have my family reading my work while I draft to make sure its good and not shit. They haven’t been reading. This sends me into a panic attack, because in my mind if they aren’t reading they don’t like it. Not that it really matters if they like it, it only matters if I like it. But I won’t put out shit. And that means I’d have to go back through 200 pages of work to change everything. And the plot might change. And it might not work. And people will die.

This is how my brain works. Paranoia, my friends.

I did decide to slow my pace down which has made my writing the past few days better. I’m sure my editor is annoyed at me (sorry Ed) because I keep picking a final date and changing it. Here’s the funny thing, last week the day after I decided to slow down because my writing wasn’t taking me anywhere (again, crazy brain) I received two emails about two separate Barnes and Nobles events. I haven’t gotten the word if I will be joining them, but fuck man, Barnes and Noble! It’s little things like this that restore my confidence.

Overall, the reason I keep rushing is because I have so many stories I want to write. I can’t build them up though until I finish my first so they are just collecting dust because I don’t have the capability of writing more than one at a time. It drives me crazier than I already am. I have a New Orleans based one, a Virginia based one, Connecticut, a dystopia type thing going on wayyyyy back in my brain. There’s just a never ending process happening. So if you ever see me zoning out at my computer its just my brain planning. I swear I’m not a lunatic….please don’t lock me up.


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