Writing new material has been a very long and tedious process. Each day seems like another battle. Every morning I wake up and hate what I’ve written from the day before and by nights end I like it until dawn breaks and I start all over again.
I’m supposed to be working right now.
Instead I elected to write a post because something occurred to me.
So, I’m sitting here with my cat sitting right behind me, almost enough to kick me off my office chair when I realized my issue isn’t with the story, but with slowing down. When I wrote my first trilogy there wasn’t a time limit. I could write whenever I wanted, no one knew I was working, it was kind of a secret. Now that I’ve finished stuff, and since the first book, there’s been more of a time limit. Each book created less time for me to get stuff done. Once the first book came out I had already been done drafting the second book and by the time that one came out I was halfway through drafting the third. I stuck to a pattern and everything flowed really well.
For a long time I’ve been trying and picking at my brain to understand why I can’t flow through this new one like I had the first. Then I realized I’m just rushing the character. I’m not building who he is or connecting with him like I had Kaden. I’ve said it before, Kaden was a part of me. She was the part that was loyal and her story was essential my story until she ended up becoming her own person.
It’s taking me more time to get to know who my new guy is. I mean, I know him, but I haven’t found his voice yet and it certainly doesn’t help that I’ve written and rewritten his story about four times already. Hopefully I can find it soon because it’s killing me inside to sit on this.